Finding Peace at the End: How One Hudson Valley Caregiver Is Changing the Conversation Around Death and Dying

Aired March 22nd, 2026

Death is a topic most of us avoid, but Erika Murphy is on a mission to change that. A Rhinebeck-based end-of-life caregiver and newly trained end-of-life doula, Murphy brings warmth, experience, and a no-nonsense practicality to one of life's most universal, and universally dreaded, transitions. As president of the Rhinebeck Rotary Club, she also channels that same spirit of service into her community every day.

Murphy's path to this work was anything but conventional. After 25 years as an elementary school teacher, resource teacher, and school administrator, she found herself caring for family members at the end of their lives — first her aunt, then her grandmother. When she and her husband relocated to Rhinebeck, a chance encounter with a neighbor's husband living with Parkinson's opened a door she hadn't expected.

"Within three days I was helping him shower," she recalls. "That was an eye-opener in terms of, oh God, there's a need out there."

What she discovered was that the skills she had spent decades building in education translated seamlessly into elder and end-of-life care. Listening, patience, attentiveness, and meeting people where they are, these aren't just teaching skills. They're the foundation of compassionate caregiving.

Filling the Gaps Hospice Can't

Murphy is quick to sing the praises of hospice services, Hudson Valley Hospice in particular, but she's also candid about the gaps that exist in around-the-clock care. Hospice provides critical support with medication management, equipment, social work, and more. But there are quiet hours, exhausted family members, and moments of uncertainty that don't come with a built-in safety net.

That's where Murphy steps in. Over the years, hospice nurses began referring families to her directly, recognizing her as someone who could provide consistent, compassionate presence when the family needed relief most. She's there at 2:00 AM when something changes. She's sleeping at the house during a vigil. She's holding hands.

"It's not just the person in the bed," she says. "It's the whole circle that needs care."

Her clients have included people living with Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and cancer. She works privately, not through an agency, collaborating closely with hospice teams to support each person's care. Her role is deeply relational; many of the families she's served have remained in her life long after their loved ones have passed.

The End-of-Life Doula: A New Kind of Support

About a year and a half ago, Murphy completed training as a certified end-of-life doula through INELDA, the International End of Life Doula Association (inelda.org), the largest doula association of its kind. She is currently in the midst of a year-long certification process to deepen that practice.

Just as a birth doula supports a family through the arrival of new life, an end-of-life doula supports individuals and families through the final chapter. Murphy's doula work goes beyond physical caregiving to include something equally important: the emotional and logistical preparation that most families put off until it's too late.

"We've gotta have these conversations," she says, noting that while she often sees older adults showing up for community discussions about death, her own generation, people in their 50s, tends to shy away. "There's fear. But the fact of the matter is, it's gonna happen."

Getting Your Affairs in Order — Before You Need To

Murphy is a passionate advocate for practical preparation: drafting advance directives, updating wills, pre-arranging funeral plans, and yes, even clearing out the clutter. She references The Art of Swedish Death Cleaning as a guiding philosophy, the idea that thoughtful preparation is a gift to the people you leave behind.

She encourages people to store advance directives digitally, on a phone, for instance, so they're accessible in an emergency. She also urges families to have open conversations while there's still time, rather than leaving loved ones to guess at final wishes during an already painful moment. The absence of that conversation, she notes from personal experience, can turn grief into conflict.

Murphy is also working to bring these conversations to her broader community, with plans to host open discussions at local libraries and other public spaces, building on the model of "death cafes" that have already drawn strong attendance in the region.

Spirit of Service: Rhinebeck Rotary Club

In addition to her caregiving work, Murphy serves as president of the Rhinebeck Rotary Club, a role she approaches with the same energy and dedication. The club has been growing and has made food insecurity a central focus this year.

The Rhinebeck Rotary Club's high school Interactors recently returned from a service trip to Guatemala. The club's upcoming flagship event is the Spirit of Service Awards, scheduled for May 14th from 6:00 to 8:30 PM at the Horticulture Building at the fairgrounds. This year's honorees are Lilla Pug and the Rhinebeck Farmers Market, both recognized for their work addressing food insecurity in the community. The event features music, food, and is open to all.

Details are available at the Rhinebeck Rotary Club website. As Murphy puts it, being a Rotarian means "you are serving your community and you're having a blast doing it."